Self Doubt

Do you know why you hesitate to say that difficult thing? For me, oftentimes self-doubt is to blame. I wonder to myself along the other side of the argument in my head, playing a bit of the devil's advocate and convincing myself at how ridiculous I will sound. I negate my thoughts and stuff my emotions to avoid looking the tedious fool. So many of my sweet and tender buried emotions are in a graveyard of lost opportunities for healing conversations and enhanced intimacy.

Even if we looked as foolish as we feel in sharing our fledgling thoughts and confusing emotions, not sharing them is a loss. Not sharing them is abandoning that chance for a more intimate and meaningful relationship.

Finding our way to trust our ability to find the right words and express ourselves with confidence is life-long work. For me, it never feels easy, but as the years go by, it begins to feel more necessary. I am not willing to bury more emotions in a heap! I want to begin to treat my emotions, my own emotions with tender loving care and give them the honor and respect they are due, from me at least. When my relationship with my emotions shifts because of this radical self care, it will feel more like extending a gift when I show my trust and love to others, and share my most intimate feelings. 

Here is another big reason why we don't share our feelings as readily with each other: the fear that our feelings will not be welcomed in with open arms, or that they will be ridiculed and sent home crying like a bullied child. Not everyone is deserving of caring for our tender emo babies. Choose your confidants wisely.

I also look forward to getting to a place where I will share my thoughts and soft squishy emotions because I need to express myself for my own health and peace of mind. I will allow and accept all variety of reactions, and not take it personally, whatever it may be. I will experience the alleviation of my spirit at having allowed myself to come out and be seen. We walk around day after day guarded and suspicious in our tortured culture, and not without good reason. Find a space and some time to share and come together with those you love.